Empowering Women

The name of the magazine is Empowering Women, but empowering them to do what, exactly? Read unedited press releases in the form of articles? Lede: “Covering almost 70% of the earth, [the ocean] is full of minerals and nutrients. Wouldn’t it be great to start each day by diving into sparkling blue surf and taking in all the natural nutrients the ocean has to offer. Now with Arbonne’s SeaSource Detox Spa you can….” or maybe your prefer: ”I don’t know of another job that would allow you this kind of choice … Arbonne gives a woman a chance to live her life the way she chooses and to be more in control of her life, to set boundries on her time to be more present with her family.” Or again: “At 24, Jennifer Townsley is one of the youngest National Vice Presidents in Arbonne. The busy young mother is overwhelmed by the amazing impact Arbonne has had on her family’s life …” Or you might just admire the lovely spreads. The image below—creams and all—appears on Arbonne’s web site—who knew it could also be such an effective editorial photo?

Mind you, the quotes above are all from separate articles, of the dozens of pieces in EW most orbit around a single cosmetic company sold through a pyramid scheme through network marketing.

Reading Empowering Women, it would seem inconceivable that it does not share ownership with Aubonne. But no, the magazine promises to provide a 128-page blowjob to a different marketer every issue, for what one can only assume is a princely albeit undisclosed sum. The unrelenting nature of the pitch (”Her friend switched tactics, she convinced Jennifer to go to a gathering where she promised she would meet a prominent Executive National Vice President … Jennifer met doctors, lawyers, and other people … who all believed in Aubonne”) makes this magazine close to a paper version of what one would imagine being programmed by a cult is like. Pass the Kool-Aid.

[EDITOR’S NOTE:Buy Jandos’ new book!]

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